Phil Perkins

Over a year ago I found myself in a dark place

I was severely depressed and crippled by anxiety. I was trapped in a vicious circle of being angry with people I perceived to have wronged me and this lead to irritability, self loathing and being unable to sleep. As part of the offload program I attended we were introduced to Russell a calm, quiet and humble individual. He spoke with a calmness which I couldn’t help but be engaged by.

I’ll admit I was pretty sceptical about mindfulness at first but being desperate for a good nights sleep I thought I’d try it. I remember coming out of the first session really relaxed and tired. I’d not felt like this for a while and that night I slept so well I missed my alarm.

Over the course of our mindfulness with Russell I have learnt to let go of the anger I felt towards colleagues who had wronged me and live in the now. I rarely look at the past these days and feel the best I have done in months. I believe mindfulness helps to keep me relaxed and focussed on achieving my dreams.

I practice this daily and I find it helps me remain calm and ready to face any challenge I may have during the day. I no longer get angry over things I cannot control. I believe this has been the main reason I have been able to participate in rugby again, run half marathons, coach rugby league and will complete a 10k obstacle race next weekend. I wouldn’t have done any of this without offload and Russell. My anxiety and depression has lessened to the point I have been able to come off my medication.

I am pleased to say I have now completed seven days without any ill effects. I now face the challenge of learning to control my condition without the medication but I am confident I will overcome this through continuing to practice what Russell has taught me and will continue to push myself to learn more. I am starting to live again rather than going through the motions of one difficult day after another.

Thank you Russell for helping me to change into a better version of me.

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